The Rock Star and the Baby Penguin
by Leydhawk
Summary: Kurt is hired to help Elliott buy a new wardrobe for a year in NYC, and they fall for each other. But each of them has a secret he's keeping from the other. Asexual!Kurt Demisexual!Elliott
1. Chapter 1

" _The musician Starchild will be heating up New York City this year, having publicly decided to take time off from touring to work on his next studio album. He has said he will be playing some smaller venues through the year, perhaps trying out his new songs. But can intimate settings handle the white hot performances? Is there a more personal reason he's staying in one place for a while? Time will tell._ "

 **Kurt pushed the power button on his remote, turning the television off. He'd been channel surfing for a little while before going into the** **office for a meeting with Isabelle Wright.**

 **He hoped the job she had for him was as a stylist and not just a blurb writer, but he'd take what he could get. At least he was still working in the fashion industry. Clothes had been his passion all his life, only overshadowed in high school and part of college by performing before returning with greater vigor than ever.**

 **Thumbing through his music, Kurt found Starchild's second album, which included the tracks that were Kurt's personal favorites. He bopped to the beat, admiring Starchild's incredible vocals, as always. The man's voice was widely considered one of the best in current popular music, and with Kurt's past vocal training, he could appreciate the performer's range and his interpretation.**

 **Upon arrival at Isabelle's office, Kurt was surprised to see the very same celebrity who'd been the subject of the gossipy talk show he'd watched and then whose music Kurt had enjoyed on his trip to the Condé Nast building sitting in one of her plush white chairs.**

 **"Kurt! Come in, come in. Let me introduce you to Elliott Gilbert," Isabelle enthused. Kurt approached and put out his hand to shake. The grasp was firm and dry, and Kurt found the man's eyes particularly warm for the blue shades they showed.**

 **"This is Kurt Hummel, the man I've been telling you about," she continued as the men's handshake lasted a little longer than normal.**

 **"Kurt, I've agreed to lend Elliott your styling expertise this week and then I want a behind the scenes article about it. Mark will go with you everywhere to get candids, and we'll do a full shoot two weeks** **from Friday** **, after any alterations or custom work is done."**

 **Kurt eyed Elliott. "You're looking for a makeover?" He asked skeptically. Starchild always had a very particular look and Kurt couldn't imagine that changing.**

 **Elliott smiled easily, and Kurt was struck by how inviting and genuine it seemed.**

 **"Sort of. I'm going to be living in the city for the next year, and I want a new wardrobe for regular daywear, along with some formalwear for events, although I'm always on the lookout for stage clothes as well, of course."**

 **"We'll have to talk about what exactly you want," Kurt said thoughtfully, eyeing the rock star and mentally running through different looks and ideas.**

 **"Which is why you'll be together all week," Isabelle interjected. Kurt nodded without looking at her, already lost in the new project.**

 **Isabelle and Elliott talked for a few more minutes, then the arrival of the photographer interrupted them.**

 **"Great. Let's go get coffee and talk about your ideas and my vision and get our plan in place," Kurt announced. Isabelle and Elliott looked at each other and they snickered together. "What!"**

 **"You lead, I'll follow," Elliott said mildly, rising and gesturing at the door. Kurt turned to precede the taller man and saw the familiar blonde photographer approaching.**

 **"Oh, Mark, hi. This is Elliott. We'll be shopping all week, so prepare yourself for some walking, okay?" Kurt said, heading for the door. "I'll keep you updated, Isabelle. Come on, Elliott."**

 **Elliott looked at Isabelle again, and Kurt heard her speak before Elliott hurried to catch up with him, "I told you. He's very driven. It's going to be perfect."**


	2. Chapter 2

**Kurt interrogated Elliott about everything from his daily skin care routine and what kind of underwear he preferred to his taste in architecture and what country and era sparked his imagination. The photographer sat at another table and Elliott tried to ignore him while the man obviously took a few dozen pictures of him and Kurt. The stylist's eyes were intense as he made notes and sketched on a small tablet that seemed to have a ton of swatches that Kurt expertly manipulated until he had at least a dozen ideas for outfits and pages of lists. He barely touched his coffee until he seemed satisfied and turned off the screen, then he gulped the lukewarm drink and packed his tablet into his satchel.**

 **"Are you ready to walk? Those boots..."**

 **"Are fine for walking. I'm ready."**

 **And Elliott was glad he'd broken in the boots, and that they looked as good unlaced as tied up tight, because Kurt took him to four different shops that afternoon, and made him try on at least three dozen outfits.**

 **Elliott had never known that shopping could be as exhausting as a crossfit training session. But he enjoyed seeing the expertise with which Kurt hunted down exactly the pieces of clothing he had set out to find.**

 **At first Elliott tried to engage Kurt in small talk while they shopped, but he quickly learned that Isabelle calling Kurt 'driven' was a nice way to say 'obsessively focused' and he quit attempting to get Kurt to think about anything but clothing, shoes, and accessories.**

 **Questioning the stylist's choices led to cold looks and long explanations about the particular cut or fabric and what it would do for Elliott's body and image, and Elliott bowed to Kurt's greater knowledge of such things, feeling a bit like a child being pandered to when he insisted he wanted some plain black t-shirts and Kurt gave in with a small huff and a half smile.**

 **They shopped all week. From high end boutiques to bdsm stores to flea markets, Kurt led the way and piled on piece after piece for Elliott. They spent time in Elliott's spacious apartment putting together one outfit after another, with Kurt noting alterations to be made, photographing each look on his tablet, and writing lists each day for what pieces they still needed. Those lists grew shorter and more specific as the week progressed.**

 **Elliott was fascinated by Kurt. His intensity was intimidating, but Elliott was quickly growing fond of the man's idiosyncratic way of doing things.**

 **By the time Kurt's lists had all been satisfied and all of the pieces that needed tailoring were off to the seamstress, Elliott decided to make his move. He didn't want to miss the opportunity to pursue getting to know the stylist.**

 **"You're...intriguing, Kurt Hummel. I'd like to get to know you better," Elliott said. Kurt blushed.**

 **"I may seem intriguing now, but if you get to know me better, I think you'll find me rather mundane."**

 **"Let me decide? Go to dinner with me?"**

 **"We've spent every day together all week; why do you think dinner will be any different?"**

 **"I've been your job all week, Kurt. I want to relieve that pressure and see who you are when you relax."**

 **Kurt huffed a self-deprecating laugh. "If you believe my friends, I don't know what the word means."**

 **Elliott looked at the other man and shook his head. "Still, please let me thank you for all your work this week. Daniel, the French place? The food is exquisite.** **Tomorrow night** **?"**

 **It was obvious that Kurt was tempted by fancy restaurants and French food. Elliott suspected Kurt also enjoyed having a reason to get dressed up, and Elliott hoped to show the man who he was outside of their shopping excursions. Kurt agreed, and Elliott was thrilled.**

 **He even let Kurt tell him which outfit he should wear.**


	3. Chapter 3

**While he had been focused on Elliott in his professional capacity, a part of Kurt had observed the rock star's studiously brooding look and caught glimpses of something lighter beneath. It wasn't his place to push the man, but Kurt found he rather yearned to see him smile and hear a laugh that didn't have the mocking edge to it that he'd been listening to all week.**

 **Kurt was blown away by the difference between Elliott-on-a-date and Elliott working. The Elliott he spent the evening with was funny and genuine and he found himself laughing and having the best date he'd had in years. Not only that, but the brooding persona was gone as well, and Kurt decided Elliott had a smile that lit up the entire restaurant.**

 **After the drawn out meal, they went for a walk, and Kurt was happy to hold Elliott's hand as they meandered through Central Park.**

 **"Can I tell you that I really don't want the evening to end?" Elliott admitted. Kurt ducked his head and smiled. But it occurred to him that Elliott might be suggesting that they extend the date to something more intimate, and Kurt decided he needed to make a very clear boundary.**

 **"I-I'm not going home with you," Kurt said, letting Elliott's hand drop.**

 **"What? No! I just mean I'm having a wonderful time talking with you. I wasn't trying to..."**

 **Kurt side-eyed him, and judged his sincerity. He hesitantly reached out and laced their fingers together again.**

 **"I'm sorry. I figured that you're used to first dates that throw themselves at you and I just... That's not me."**

 **Elliott smiled and squeezed Kurt's hand. "I don't really date much, Kurt, for that reason among others. But I want to hang out some more. Can we go find a coffee shop or something?"**

 **So they found a place that was open all night and talked through until nearly dawn.**

 **Kurt found it easy to tell Elliott about how he'd ended up a stylist. He had always been passionate about fashion, and he confessed his interest in performing during hight school. He'd planned on combining the two when he applied and was accepted for Project Runway, but he'd had to drop out before filming began when his father had had a heart attack.**

 **Once Burt had recovered, he'd insisted that Kurt return to New York, where Kurt began an internship with Isabelle at Vogue. She'd encouraged him to submit articles, a few of which had been accepted and published, and had seen his transformational makeover of a friend and began referring people to him as a stylist. A friendship had developed as they'd worked together off and on, and Kurt made an acceptable living after establishing himself.**

 **"** **Do you still design?"**

 **"** **I do. Mostly for myself with clothes, but I sell accessories on my etsy store, too. This tie pin is one of mine," Kurt said, and Elliott made flattering sounds.**

 **In turn, Kurt learned how Elliott had begun with a love of singing and had studied opera in high school but had eventually created his Starchild persona when the stultifying world of formal performances didn't appeal to him. He'd been scouted playing gigs and working as a studio musician in his early twenties. His management company had helped propel him into bigger and bigger performance venues, and he'd released his first album on iTunes to great acclaim. Everything had just spun out from there.**

 **They spoke of their families and interests, and when yawns began interrupting words, they agreed to end their date.**

 **Plans to see each other again had been made during their walk, so all they had left to do outside the diner was to say goodbye.**

 **Kurt hesitated, uncertain if Elliott would want a kiss, and was relieved when instead, Elliott enveloped him in a long, tight hug. He felt wonderful being close to Elliott; safe and content, and he couldn't wait for their next date.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Kurt worked on the article about Elliott, keeping the mystique of the moody rock star but hinting at a more contemplative side to him as well while he chronicled the style choices they'd come up with.**

 **As pieces returned with perfect tailoring, Kurt met with Elliott several more times to confirm the fit and narrow down the outfits for the photo shoot. Mark, the photographer, joined them during the afternoons of consideration, but he left before the hours went long and the meetings morphed into evenings spent talking and cooking together or going out again.**

 **One night Elliott had kissed Kurt when they parted, but he hadn't seemed to be pressing for more, so Kurt still felt good about where they were together.**

 **The final shoot turned out exactly as Kurt had planned, and Isabelle gushed over the pictures and praised Kurt's article as well.**

 **It had been a bit nerve wracking to write about the man he was dating, but Kurt had run the piece by Elliott before submitting it, and Elliott had appreciated the consideration.**

" **I like that you stuck with how the fashion fits my personality and kept my persona the main focus," Elliott told him.**

" **And the more personal stuff..."**

" **I'm okay with the hints of my sensitive side as you expressed them through the textiles and color choices. Thank you, Kurt. I think my fans will go completely nuts over this."**

 **Kurt was having the time of his life. He tried not to think about how an assignment like this one might take his career to another level, but it definitely had that potential.**

 **Not only that, but Elliott wanted to keep seeing him. In the lull between the photo shoot and the article going live, they were together several times a week, having coffee or going to dinner or a movie.**

 **Holding hands and kissing briefly was as physical as they'd gotten, so Kurt let his concerns for the future of the relationship settle in the back of his mind.**

 **Just before the article was published, paparazzi caught them walking together in Central Park. Isabelle dismissed Kurt's concern about it, telling him that the buzz from the distance photos would only boost readership. But Kurt was concerned about more than the professional ramifications when he saw the pictures on social media, so he called Elliott.**

" **Kurt, I'm in the media off and on all the time. Please don't worry about it."**

" **You're not worried that I'm using you?"**

" **I've had a lot of people who try that, and I've let some of them do it for a while, but I keep my distance from those people. I don't date them. I know you're different."**

 **So Kurt let that go, too.**

 **When the article came out, it was one of the most read pieces** **had ever published, and demand for Kurt as a stylist and as a writer skyrocketed.**

 **Although Kurt was suddenly much busier, Elliott and Kurt's relationship continued, and they even received a couple name: Starkurt. Elliott shrugged it off, but Kurt thought it was adorable.**

 **It was Kurt's guilty pleasure to read what Elliott's fans wrote on social media about them, laughing at the positive posts and rolling his eyes at the jealous ones.**

 **But the tone of many became speculative on their bedroom habits, and that reminded Kurt that while he was content with the glacial pace of the physical side of their relationship, Elliott in his Starchild persona was hypersexual, and at some point, they'd have to move forward on that front.**

 **A series of posts which were 'liked' by Elliott from some of Starkurt's biggest supporters eventually propelled Kurt into action.**

 **"...can only imagine how hot they are together..."**

 **"... and the sex must be amazing..."**

 **Kurt finally decided: if he had been willing to have sex with his first boyfriend, and two other men since, he really should be doing it with the gorgeous, sweet, funny man he'd been exclusively dating for months. So he mentally and physically prepared himself the best he could, and invited Elliott to his apartment for dinner.**


	5. Chapter 5

**This was it. Make or break time. Kurt obviously wanted more from Elliott physically than he'd been giving. An invitation to a romantic dinner at home was definitely indicative of Kurt's intention to increase their level of intimacy. Elliott groomed himself carefully, and went to get a condom from the box under the sink in his bathroom where he'd put it when he unpacked three months before. It was the same box he'd been keeping around as he toured, although he'd only used one once as a gag on his drummer, filled with lotion and left on the musician's seat of the bus.**

 **Digging the package from under everything else in the cabinet, Elliott cursed when he looked at it.**

 **They had expired.**

 **God, what was he doing? While he found Kurt attractive, all he really wanted to do was hold him and sleep beside him. But no one dated Elliott-fucking-Starchild and didn't expect to have his world rocked by amazing sex.**

 **His time had run out.**

 **Breathing deeply, Elliott chose some accessories that were definitely more Starchild than Elliott, trying to get partway into his sexy stage persona.**

 **At the drugstore, buying lube and a fresh box of condoms, Elliott gave the clerk a saucy wink and strutted out. He could do this. He would do this.**

 **Kurt drank more than Elliott had ever seen him with dinner and after, and Elliott wasn't really sure what that meant. He avoided anything more than a single glass of wine; the last thing he needed was for alcohol to keep him from being able to get hard.**

 **They curled up together on Kurt's sofa and watched Eyes Wide Shut, which Kurt had chosen. It was an odd choice for them, since they normally watched independent films or romcoms, but Elliott decided that maybe Kurt thought all the nudity and sex would be a good warmup.**

 **Afterwards, Kurt twisted around and settled on top of Elliott and started kissing him with a fervor that had never been present between them previously.**

 **Elliott focused on his feelings for Kurt. He felt so connected and comfortable in their relationship. They laughed and had a wonderful time together. They really just clicked like they'd known each other all their lives. Elliott wanted to keep Kurt in his life.**

 **Growing hard, Elliott pressed up against Kurt's body, increasing the friction on his dick to keep himself going. He slid his hands from Kurt's back down to his ass, finding a pleasant double handful and squeezing lightly.**

 **"You can... You can fuck me if you want to," Kurt murmured against Elliott's mouth.**

 **"Are, uh, are you sure? You're pretty drunk, Kurt," Elliott said, pulling back to look at his boyfriend. Kurt wouldn't meet his eyes, but he nuzzled against Elliott's jaw and hummed.**

 **"Of course. I don't think... I'm not up for topping, so, um," Kurt replied.**

 **Elliott smoothed his palms over Kurt's rear and nodded.**

 **"I... Um, yeah, okay. If you're..."**

 **Kurt kissed him hard, interrupting the repeating question.**

 **Okay then.**

 **They moved to the bedroom, hand in hand, and Elliott tried to breathe deeply to calm his nerves.**

 **On the bed, Elliott concentrated, undressing Kurt and kissing his skin, trying to make it good for him. Kurt brought his hand down into Elliott's pants and it helped Elliott focus. The feel of Kurt moving against him got him hard again after he'd started to lose it during their conversation and the walk to the bedroom. When they'd both gotten their clothes off, Kurt rolled over and spread his legs, pushing a bottle of lube at him. Kurt's breathing was fast, and Elliott tried to be gentle as he fingered his ass open.**

 **Checking in with Kurt, and receiving the go ahead, Elliott rolled on the condom and slicked himself up.**

 **He could do this.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Kurt closed his eyes and willed himself to relax. It had been so long since he'd had sex. Dating after Blaine had been difficult. Kurt's self-esteem had plummeted when his high school boyfriend had left him while they were in college, encouraging him to seek psychological help with his 'frigidity'. There had only been two men since then that he'd gotten to this point with, and he'd learned from stinging comments during the breakup with the first to give some encouragement and not just lay there 'like a dead fish'. So he rocked back against Elliott's fingers and let himself gasp audibly at the strange sensation. He didn't want to fake a lot more interest than he had, but he really liked Elliott and hoped that maybe this could be more enjoyable with him.**

 **He listened and waited while Elliott rolled the condom on and slicked himself, then worked a bit more into Kurt.**

 **"Okay?" Elliott asked breathlessly.**

 **"Yeah...yeah," Kurt panted.**

 **Elliott stroked Kurt's back after he slowly pressed in, waiting a bit before he started to move.**

 **Neither made much noise. Occasionally a hard thrust would huff a grunt out of Kurt, and Elliott moaned a couple of times. Kurt pushed back to meet Elliott's hips and clenched off and on, understanding that it would feel good for his partner.**

 **Elliott went for the reach around and Kurt blocked him with his own hand, cringing a little at the additional deception as he moved his arm a little like he was stroking an erection that wasn't actually present. Elliott gripped his hip instead.**

 **It didn't hurt, not like it sometimes had in the past, but Kurt just wasn't turned on by it at all. He simply waited for it to be over.**

 **"Ngh! Oh, Kurt..." Elliott groaned as he finally came. His body shook and he leaned hard on Kurt for a few seconds before he pulled out. Kurt moved away with a quick squeeze to Elliott's shoulder and a murmured explanation that he was going to clean up and he'd be right back. He didn't want it to be obvious that he hadn't come, but he didn't want to discuss it, either.**

 **Kurt returned quickly with a warm washcloth. Elliott smiled and kissed him. He'd already disposed of the condom, but he seemed grateful the chance to wipe up the excess lube. Kurt threw the cloth in the hamper and they slid together under the covers.**

 **Kurt was glad it was over. It hadn't been bad, just rather...boring. He wondered how long he could wait before they had to do it again, but tried to push that thought away and just be present in the moment. He hugged Elliott closely. This part he actually enjoyed; being held, drifting off to sleep in each other's arms.**

" **You're wonderful, Kurt," Elliott murmured sleepily. Kurt kissed his chest and smiled.**

" **You are too. Sleep well."**


	7. Chapter 7

**It had been three weeks since they'd had sex. One or the other of them always had an excuse for why they 'couldn't' on the few evenings they'd ended up at a respective home late enough to stay over.**

 **But curled up together on Kurt's sofa, watching Singing in the Rain, they both began to tense as the movie drew to a close.**

 **Elliott knew he needed to make sure Kurt's needs were met. He wondered if he could get away with just blowing the other man. Whatever the case, he'd better get to it.**

 **Elliott tilted Kurt's chin up and kissed him softly, and Kurt relaxed into it. Wrapping themselves together, the embrace grew more urgent, and Kurt froze when Elliott dropped to his knees beside the couch and reached for Kurt's belt.**

 **"No, um, Ell, why don't... I mean, wouldn't you rather fuck me? I..." Kurt's voice was high and strained. That's when Elliott noticed that there was no filling erection behind the fly of the pants he was unfastening. In fact, in the tight, white jeans Kurt wore, he could very obviously see that Kurt was soft, and he'd apparently dressed right.**

 **"Kurt, are you... Do you not want..."**

 **"It's okay. I-I'll bottom. I prefer it, actually. I don't, um, I'm sure I'll get... Can we just..."**

 **Elliott saw how pale Kurt looked, with only red blotches on the sides of his cheeks. He moved back up beside him and pulled him close.**

 **"Honey, shh, we don't have to do anything tonight. It's okay. I never want to push you into doing something you don't want, okay?"**

 **Elliott was scared. He didn't want to lose Kurt.**

 **"But... I'm sure you want to, right? I don't mind if you, um."**

 **Squeezing Kurt in a hug, Elliott could feel how tense Kurt was, and it frightened him. He felt strangely rejected, even with Kurt insisting it was okay, and with his own reticence to have sex again. It was awkward and uncomfortable and he needed to think; needed to figure out how he felt and what he wanted.**

 **"Kurt..."**

 **"...yeah?" Kurt's voice was high and strained and he was still stiff in Elliott's embrace.**

 **Elliott kissed Kurt's cheek, emptiness opening inside himself. He couldn't believe that the best relationship he'd ever had might be ending like this.**

 **"I... I need to get going."**

 **Elliott left, confused and conflicted, wondering if he'd read their entire relationship wrong.**

 **He struggled not to break down into tears in the cab, waiting until he was walking up the steps to his apartment to let them come.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Kurt was a mess. He laid on the couch and cried himself to sleep after Elliott left.**

 **The next few days were full of self-recrimination and strawberry cheesecake ice cream, without showering, wearing only old sweatpants and a Hummel Tires and Lube t-shirt.**

 **He canceled a mid-week appointment with a client and instead listened to sad music and moped.**

 **Every time his phone rang, his heart jumped to his throat and threatened to choke him. It was never Elliott. He ignored everyone else, except Isabelle, who called back to back for over an hour. He finally answered just to get her to stop.**

 **"I think we broke up," Kurt told Isabelle quietly as a greeting. There was only a moment of silence before she replied.**

 **"No! That can't be true. I've never seen either of you so happy!"**

" **Well, it just didn't work out, okay? Please stop calling. I need to mourn."**

 **Isabelle sighed.**

" **I just want you to be happy, sweetie."**

" **I know. I think I've got to figure out how to do that alone, though."**

" **Tell me when you're ready for the drunken debauchery part of your grief. I'm in."**

 **Kurt choked on a sob and managed a strangled, "Thank you," before hanging up to have another ugly cry.**

 **He continued to ignore calls until the screen lit with his father's beloved face. Then he had no choice.**

" **Dad..."**

" **Oh boy, what's wrong, bud? You sound sick."**

" **Not...sick. Dumped, I guess."**

" **You guess? This is Elliott, right? What happened?"**

 **Kurt curled on his side, reliving the humiliation of having Elliott try to blow him and his inability to get hard. How the hell could he tell his father that?!**

" **I think... I guess we want different things."**

" **What's that supposed to mean?"**

" **He wants sex, not some broken man who can't even muster the desire to let him— Ohmygod, Dad..." Kurt pressed a hand over his mouth at his outburst. He never wanted to talk with his dad about his sex life. Why had that slipped out?**

" **Whoa, Kurt. I think you need to start at the beginning."**

 **Kurt wept, and the sad tale spilled out.**

 **He'd never felt sexual interest in anyone. He knew he was gay from having crushes on boys, but he hadn't ever wanted anything beyond hand holding and kissing.**

 **Confessing that even during the three years he'd been with Blaine, and all the patience Blaine had shown trying everything he could think of to get Kurt interested, he'd never wanted to have sex. Even though he'd done it, again and again, wishing he could find enjoyment in the activities but never achieving any.**

 **That was the real cause of their breakup. Kurt had been unwilling to see a doctor or a sex therapist as Blaine had wanted, and so they'd parted, Blaine tearfully wishing Kurt the best but needing what Kurt couldn't give.**

 **And then Akeem, with whom Kurt had tried to fake interest, but dismally failed.**

 **And Cedric, who had been so patient when Kurt wanted to take things slow. But slow wasn't the same as never, and when they'd finally gotten there, even Kurt pretending for all he was worth wasn't enough to fool him. Kurt had confessed to extremely low sex drive and that had been a deal breaker for Cedric.**

 **Now he'd lost Elliott, and he was pretty sure he was in love with him but of course he was just broken and he'd never be happy and who would ever want—**

" **Buddy, why didn't you ever tell me you're asexual?" Burt interrupted, his voice breaking.**

" **A-asexual? What do you mean?"**

" **Asexual. Non-sexual. No sexual interest."**

" **I... What?"**

" **I hired a girl at the shop: Megan. She's...she's something else, Kurt. She's a whiz with small engine repair, really. But we've been talking and she's opened my eyes to all the gender identity stuff, and the asexual and gray spectrums... Kurt, how is it I know more about this than you?"**

 **Kurt shut his mouth with a click of his teeth. His jaw had dropped open at his father's words. The room seemed to spin around him. Asexual. A label, which meant other people who were like him. Could it be?**

" **Um, I sort of avoid anything relating to sex, Dad. I don't read about it."**

" **Well, shit, Kurt. Okay, all I can tell you right now is that you're not broken, kid. Look up asexuality. See if it fits."**

" **I... I will, Dad. I don't know... I'll look into it."**

" **You're not broken, son. You're just you, and there's nothing wrong with that."**

 **Kurt could hear the heavy emotion clogging his father's voice and he swallowed a lump in his own throat.**

" **I love you, Dad."**

" **Love you, too, Kurt."**

 **When he hung up, Kurt immediately, if a little nervously, opened his browser and started a search that would keep him up reading for half the night.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Elliott lost time, buried in writing songs inspired by the turmoil he was feeling about the predicament that he was in with Kurt. He cried while he wrote lyrics and poured his pain into composing the music.**

 **It took a visitor at his apartment door to pull him away from the creative miasma in which he had been embroiled for over a week.**

 **A courier asked for Elliott's signature and handed him a garment bag in return. The young woman wrinkled her nose and rudely suggested that he needed a shower before she left him standing in his doorway in the same clothes he'd worn since he returned home from his disastrous date with Kurt.**

 **He sniffed tentatively and started to laugh. He positively reeked!**

 **Showering and putting on clean clothes was his first order of business, then eating a real meal in place of the energy drinks and takeout he'd been subsisting on. Beans on toast had never tasted this good when he'd had it in Britain when he'd toured there!**

 **Finally, he looked at the garment bag, opening the envelope pinned inside.**

 _ **Elliott-**_

 _ **I'm in desperate straights! Please bail me out. Come to**_ _ **lunch tomorrow, 11:30am**_ _ **, at Asiate wearing this. I'll be forever in your debt.**_

 _ **Isabelle**_

 **Bizarre. But Isabelle was awesome, so he decided to humor her.**

 **Of course, when he arrived, Elliott was stunned to find a private table for two with an amazing view of the park and Kurt seated in the opposite chair.**

" **Hey," Elliott breathed, a joyous smile lighting his face. Kurt leapt to his feet but didn't come toward Elliott, instead backing away a step, eyes wide.**

 **"Oh god, I think Isabelle set us up. I'm...sorry."**

 **"No, Kurt, I'm glad to see you. I've missed you so much," Elliott confessed, moving closer. Kurt took a further step back, sidling behind his seat so it blocked Elliott's approach.**

 **"Look, it's okay," Kurt said, his voice high and stressed. His hands were white knuckled as he gripped his chair. "I understand that you don't want a boyfriend who doesn't like sex, okay? We can be friends, I promise. I've missed you, too."**

 **Elliott froze.**

 **"Wait... You thought I didn't want you because of sex? I..."**

 **A server entered the private room, pausing when he saw both men standing and Elliott waved the man away.**

 **"Well, you kinda took off that night when I offered, and—"**

 **Elliott's mind whirled. Kurt... Kurt hadn't wanted to have sex any more than Elliott had.**

 **"You don't like sex?" Elliott asked, his voice soft with hope.**

 **Kurt's face turned that sheet white again, and the angry red blossomed on his cheeks. He pressed his lips together and shook his head. "No. I don't," he whispered.**

 **"I love you," Elliott said, with perfect clarity and conviction. Kurt's eyes widened.**

 **They stared at each other for nearly a minute.**

 **"Elliott, I'm not going to change and suddenly want sex. I'm asexual. I'm sorry."**

 **"Kurt... I love you. Just as you are. I'm not asking you to change. I'm just asking you to be mine."**

 **Elliott had never felt so open and vulnerable and at the same time so certain.**

 **"I don't think a relationship like that would work, honey," Kurt said carefully. "You are such an amazing, sexual being. It wouldn't be fair."**

 **"** _ **Starchild**_ **is an amazing, sexual being. But that's a stage persona. I'm just Elliott Gilbert. And I love spending time with** _ **you**_ **, Kurt Hummel. Talking and watching tv and going out and hugging you and being close with you. We're intimate, Kurt. We're more intimate than I've ever been with anyone, especially the few people I've had sex with."**

 **"I... I don't understand. Are you saying you're okay being in a sexless relationship with me while you're here and when you're touring you're going to fuck around? That won't work for me."**

 **"No! God, Kurt, I'm saying I love you and I have very little interest in sex. With you or anyone. Maybe I use all that energy up when I'm on stage or something, but I don't screw around when I'm touring. I don't screw around at all. I want to be in a monogamous, romantic relationship with you, without sex. I want to hug you, and kiss you, and hold you while we sleep, but I am totally fine with not having sex with you."**

 **Elliott had never seen Kurt's eyes as wide as they were in that moment.**

 **"Do you mean that? How can you possibly..." The red spots were fading from Kurt's cheeks and he looked ready to faint.**

 **Elliott moved closer deliberately, until he was close enough to feel Kurt's breath on his face.**

 **"Kurt, do you love me?"**

 **"Yes," Kurt choked.**

 **Elliott wobbled, his knees going weak, and he straightened up only with the fiercest determination.**

 **"Will you be mine? I'll be yours, and there doesn't have to be any sex between us or with anyone else," Elliott said, trying to be as clear as he could.**

 **"Really? But...how could you want that..."**

 **"Do** _ **you**_ **want that? I need to know, Kurt."**

 **"Yes! But..."**

 **Elliott swept Kurt into his arms and hugged him tight. Everything that had felt so wrong all week snapped into place. This was exactly where he wanted to be.**

 **"No buts, Kurt. And no butts and no dicks and that's** _ **fine**_ **. That's more than fine. That's wonderful. I love you."**

 **Kurt laughed at the juvenile play on words. His fingers dug into Elliott's sides.**

 **"Elliott..." Kurt pulled back and looked at him through tears. "I love you. I never thought I'd find someone who could love...me. Not without unpleasant messy sexual concessions on my part. I don't know how to..."**

 **"Don't you dare thank me for not wanting to fuck you. My cultural upbringing will implode my brain if you do."**

 **Kurt laughed.**

 **It was the most perfect sound Elliott had ever heard in his life.**


End file.
